Psyhology Consulting



Self-reliance is the first necessary constituent of great projects.

Samuel Johnson



Have you ever felt nervous about entering the room full of strangers? Going to a party you are afraid of spending the whole evening alone and are trying hard to hide this feeling? You shouldn’t be looking for a magician, who will make you self-reliant. Be active! Probably some simple advice from an English psychologist Clare Rainer, who once was a shy and timid lady, would help you.

  • In the morning try your best to leave the house at your best. Pay attention to your reflection: smile back to yourself, fix your hair, and check if you look OK. Repeat the procedure just before going to bed. That will help you not to concentrate on your appearance during the day.
  • Remember that other people don’t notice the same things as you. Blushing when speaking in front of several people? They would think your face is just a bit pink. Nobody would pay attention to those things until you attract their attention to it yourself.
  • Don’t criticize other people. If you pay too much attention to other’s flaws and such criticism has become habitual, you should stop it immediately. Otherwise you will constantly feel that your behaviour, appearance and clothes will be criticised.
  • Remember that people like to listen. You don’t need to be funny in order for other people to like you. Silent people seem mysterious and that’s the secret of their success. Try to listen attentively to others.
  • Be sincere. You are impressed by somebody’s cheerfulness, success and charm? Confess it. Trying to be cold and distant you will only drive people away.
  • Find someone among your friends with whom you could share your excitement. Then you’ll not be alone at the party. Approach the person you like – together you’ll both win.
  • Don’t try to conquer your shyness by alcohol. There’s nothing special inside the bottle. As a rule, sober people are more pleasant in conversation.
  • Remember that some shy people at the same time could be aggressive. If a person you are talking to seems aggressive, don’t blame yourself. Aggressiveness for this person could be the only, though not the best, way to hide his shyness. Besides beware of such a method yourself.
  • Of course, you assume that the worst thing is to appear ridiculous in front of other people. But remember: in most cases they will like you because you made them feel better.
  • If you feel difficulty following this advice – you can always ask a psychologist for help. Don’t miss your chance!